Remember, dah dah dee dee dum SeptembeR Options

[Light]

We had two, two RE teachers at my High School. Mr MacDermott was a heavily bearded and deeply ineffectual man whose method of dealing with classroom misbehaviour was to stare at the miscreant in what I imagine he felt was an intimidating way. Many's the RE lesson that began, continued, and ended with Mickey "Pongo" Gowland calling the entire world a cunt whilst being nervously watched by a man even Vicars regarded as a bit wishy washy.

The other was a glassy eyed evangelist lady who had married a gay bloke as proof that homosexuality could be cured and who taught us that she felt perfectly safe during the Yorkshire Ripper's spree because "he only killed sinful women and they should've known it would happen". She was understandably on edge most of the time. One halloween we made a burning cross in her garden. She didn't even bother to come out and extinguish it, she and her nicely poised hubby just sat watching it from their window. I think they were disappointed that we didn't bbq a mudworshipper.

[Bible_John]

They used to wheel this mental old cunt called Reverend Bright out once a week when I was at primary school.

He couldn't pronounce the letter "d" - resulting in him wittering on about how baby moses was left in a bed of reeeeees and how farmers planted seeeeees. He also had an eppy at me for saying I didn't believe in god and drew a big picture of the devil on the blackboard to illustrate "who I was going to meet."

They replaced him not long after with some happy clappy bender called Malcolm who was a total pain in arse with his shitty acoustic guitar jesus songs and futile attempts to bribe us into being christians by bringing jenga in.

[Orla]

The two RE teachers I had were pretty nice - Mr. Dewes and Mrs. Drew. He was a baldy who used to tell us that Buddhism was quite a good idea and she had a scar on her throat that could've been a bad chicken pox scar, but that we used to imagine was from a frenzied knife attack.
We were asked to produce a leaflet about the religion of our choice and I chose Rastafarianism, drew a Bob Marley type on the front with a massive reefer hanging out of his mouth and got a merit award for it. [/proudest moment ever ]

[Huge gleaming nigger cock.]

I remember when the word "apparatus" was used to hint at complex design, eg. television viewing apparatus.
Stuffy but classy.

Now, though, trivial shit like lip-gloss is described as a "system".

[Ponky]

Similarly, putting face cream on or washing your hair can now be described as a "regime".

In the future, we could be seeing ads describing "your putting your pants on in the morning genocide" or "fed up with your dreary diet w0g-bashing?"

[juniorjetpack]

I was recently given a 'Breo Roam' watch as a freeb. It has tourmaline in the rubber bracelet which will aid concentration, naturally detoxify, lower blood pressure et-fucking-cetera.

It doesn't fit.

[Bible_John]

I was recently given a 'Breo Roam' watch as a freeb. It has tourmaline in the rubber bracelet which will aid concentration, naturally detoxify, lower blood pressure et-fucking-cetera.

It doesn't fit.

Fucking hell. They look like a cross between those "save our maddie" wristbands and something that'd fall out of a poundstretcher christmas cracker.



Even their advertising resorts to using sideboob shots to draw your eye away from the shitness of the product.

[Dare]

I was recently given a 'Breo Roam' watch as a freeb. It has tourmaline in the rubber bracelet which will aid concentration, naturally detoxify, lower blood pressure et-fucking-cetera.

It doesn't fit.

I'm guessing you had a go on the girls lucky dip rather than the boys one.

[Rasclart]

IWC

had a go on the girls lucky dip= gang-rape

[juniorjetpack]

It was part of a plan I'm beginning to tire of.

Sign up for new (crap) phone; get free ps3 and shite watch.

Flog crap phone and old Cockerels flange to some mugs; spend money on phone I actually want.

???????

PROFIT


im just waiting for my new one to be delivered whilst getting a bit excitable over 'dead space'.

[Dare]

Then you must go and get Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2. It's well stressfull and you can pretend to be Andy McNab

[juniorjetpack]

Will do.

What's the ps3 like online? I haven't had chance to try it out yet. The xbox marketplace was largely shit.

[Huge gleaming nigger cock.]

What's the ps3 like online?

The online store works well enough, and the iPlayer app is rather good.

But the browser itself will really piss you off if you give it a chance, and the other apps like "Life"......don't.

[Dare]

Yes. the Life app appears to be completely without point unless traipsing around a lifeless shopping centre with expressionless zombies does it for you

Some of the downloadable games are good.
Pain is worth the download for a bit of fairly mindless fun and Flower's good, especially if you need to prove to your game hating girl friend that "they're not all about shooting aliens, actually"